1. People who don't "wipe down the seat"
2. The "personal trainer" racket
3. Complicated exercise equipment that look like medieval torture devices and require an engineering degree to operate
4. People who think the gym is an appropriate place to score a date
5. Locker room towels that are too small to tie around yourself
6. The smell of sweat, foot stink and gut rot
7. Classes with silly, harmless-sounding names like "spinning" (that will actually wreck you)
8. The dry sauna, also known as the most socially awkward place in the world
9. People who confidently stroll around the locker room completely naked
10. The people who makes noises like they're giving birth to pumpkin-sized pine cones while working out
11. The terrible thumpa-thumba-thumpa disco club music
12. The gross steroid Hulks who look like they belong on Jersey Shore
13. Attempting to watch television on the treadmill
14. Gym membership is expensive and the contracts are prepared by the Devil's lawyers
15. It's just the gym. Not the Holy Temple of Beefcake
